Pirates of the Caribbean: The Golden Menace
by Sideshow Star
Summary: Through a short series of events that are only partially Jack's fault, he finds himself aboard the Pearl again, teaming up with Barbossa to search for another legend. A shiny one.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: We do not own PotC and the characters within, with the exception of the ones we have created ourselves. Thank you and enjoy...**

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_**Pirates of the Caribbean: The Golden Menace**_

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Chapter One: So Close, And Yet So Far**

Damp, oppressive heat beat down on all in the company as they cut through the thick, green undergrowth. All around them, birds and various beasts called to one another and moved about, giving a wide berth to the strangers passing through their home. They were almost to their destination, according to the maps. They had been following the river for days, now, and had already lost one man to it when he was fool enough to try to bathe. Few of them could think of worse ways to die than being crushed and eaten by the large snakes that dwelt in the shallows.

Captain Brewster, their leader, paused to examine the map, and their surroundings. "Not much farther now, lads," he announced, pointing ahead to where the river made a wide bend. "Just past that bend, we leave the river. This time tomorrow we'll be rich men!" Everyone hurried on, cutting through vines and bushes with swords and machetes, little caring that they made noise enough to alert all within several miles to their presence.

Finally, they halted, catching a glimpse through the trees of gold shining in the sun. Slowly, they crept forward, hearts pounding in excited anticipation. Captain Brewster handed the map to his first mate, a young Scotsman. Then Brewster stepped forward to part the last of the branches obscuring their view –

Only to find a dozen spears aimed at his heart. He looked back to find the rest of his crew in the same situation, all of them staring in shock at their attackers. Brewster turned to the natives and paused. An elaborately painted, scantily clad, very _female_ warrior glared back at him. All of their attackers were female, as it turned out, and none of them exactly pleased to see a bunch of men in their forest. Brewster backed up, holding up his hands in surrender. The women barked orders to one another in their own strange language, and soon enough they had the men disarmed and bound together.

Someone from the back of the group, in a tone that said very clearly he knew it wouldn't do much good, asked, "Parley?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: To Tortuga We Go  
**

Jack Sparrow, still floating someplace in the ocean in his little dinghy that Barbossa so kindly left him as he sailed away in Jack's ship, sat up and looked around to see how much progress he's made. Not much at all. He realized that his cherished hat was off seconds after and placed it on his head again, and secured it there. Jack looked to his left and picked up a dirty rum bottle that was lying next to him and uncorked it. He held it over his mouth and expected rum to come pouring out into his dry mouth, only to have a few drops fall from the opening of it. "Empty." Jack complained as he tossed the bottle into the ocean in disgust. "Bloody empty. Why is the rum always gone?" He pulled out his compass, which showed the user the way to whatever it is they wanted, and opened it up. It spun around a little and stopped after a little bit.

_"I know what I want, and I want some rum..." _He thought to himself, eyes clamped shut, hoping that the compass would point to somewhere decent (at least for him) where there'd be rum. It pointed to the East, to an island that looked very familiar to Jack, which had just come into view. Even from this distance he could hear the raucous music and occasional gunshot. "And what better place to find some." He shut the compass and picked up some oars. He looked back and saw Gibbs, fast asleep. Jack managed to head back shortly after setting sail, because he needed Gibbs...to row the boat. "Mr. Gibbs!"

He shot up and practically tossed his makeshift teddy bear off of the boat in shock. He looked around for a few seconds after rubbing his eyes, trying to fix his focus. "Yes, cap'n?"

Jack looked at him disapprovingly and then smiled. "Asleep again, eh?"

"No, Jack...just," He placed the ragged and plain looking teddy bear down at his feet, "resting me eyes."

"In other words," He raised a hand up, pointer finger extended, "you were sleeping," Jack said as he held out the oars for Gibbs to take. "And sleeping will not be tolerated on me..." Jack was going to say 'ship', until he realized the small dinghy they were in, "boat, unless I'm asleep. But I don't feel sleepy so stop sleepin'. Got it?"

"Got it." Gibbs said quietly as he grabbed the oars and began to row. "So, where be it we're goin', captain?"

Jack looked ahead at the island and then back at Gibbs with a large smile on his face. "Tortuga."

~~_Later~~_

Jack rowed into the port at Tortuga shortly after the sun set, letting the boat smack up against it. Jack really didn't care for this boat, as it were. He simply stepped out of the boat rather than tying it up to the dock. After all, there's bound to be a better ship than that lying around for the taking, which is just what Jack intended to do. After a bit of drinking, of course.

Mr. Gibbs struggled to get out of the boat as easily as Jack did, but eventually made it onto the docks. He stuffed his poorly made bear into his shirt and followed Jack, wherever he was headed. They walked down the dock and towards the town area, going past various drunken and otherwise rough and irreputable citizens of Tortuga. These were the type of people Jack felt right at home with.

Every now and again, Jack would have to step over some passed out drunks that lay there helplessly. "Pardon me, mate." He said as he stepped over a rather portly fellow. He looked over to Gibbs, who was walking with him to his left. "There is no place as wanting or as luminous as Tortuga, Mr. Gibbs."

"Aye, makes a pirate feel right at home, it does." Gibbs watched as a few men were thrown out of a bar that they were approaching - one of many on the island. One landed into a puddle of brown water, which - hopefully, for his sake - was just mud, and the other landed on top of him.

Jack was about to enter said bar when he spotted a familiar face by the door. "Ah, Isabella." He approached the woman. but was immediately greeted with quick a slap to the face. "Yup, right at home," he said, rubbing the side of his face with a grimace of pain. He turned and watched as the woman walked away, greeting other men as she passes them.

The two entered the bar, filled with inebriated men dancing wildly, talking too close to each other, and gambling their stolen riches away. Jack, knowing exactly what he wants, immediately went up to the barkeep and asked for some rum. Gibbs parted ways and went to look for an open table for them to sit at, which isn't easy to come by in such a place. Most tables are either sat at or have passed out people lying on top of them.

Jack grabbed the two cups that the barkeep handed him and looked around, trying not to spill his rum as people kept almost running into him. He eventually found Gibbs sitting rather far away. He made his way to the table, sipping some rum as to 'keep it from spilling'. He sat the cups down and took a seat across from his first mate. He slapped Gibbs' hand harshly as he tried to grab a cup from Jack. "Oi, my rum. Get your own, mate." Both cups were apparently for Jack, as sailing as long as he did in that little dinghy will do that to a man.

"Right, captain." Gibbs straightened up and leaned in to talk to Jack a little more privately. "So what are we doin' now without the Pearl? I mean, we can't exactly go after this fountain in that little dinghy...can we?"

Jack gulped down one of the cups and slammed it down on the table. "We can do it, but we won't, savvy?"

Gibbs looked a tad confused at Jack's usual demeanor, struggling to figure out what he planned to do. "Then what will we be doin'?"

"I plan to drink, fight, and gamble my black guts out all night until I get a captain to pass out dead drunk, and then steal his bloody ship." He lifted up his cup and smiled, feeling like his plan was foolproof. "And then, well, we do what we do best."

Gibbs smiled back and nodded. "Take what we can?"

Jack lifted his cup higher. "Give nothin' back." He gulped down that cup and slammed it down onto the table. Gibbs would have done the same, but he had no drink to speak of because of Jack. "You..." He thought for a second and waved his hand a little at Gibbs, "go do whatever. Leave it all to me, savvy?" He got up and staggered around, hoping to find a worthy opponent to drink under the table.

He found one sitting in a corner table, alone. The man appeared to be of Spanish origin, and his features were delicate, almost feminine, Jack thought with a smirk, with the small mustache he sported the only major hint as to his masculinity. "Aha." He looked like a likely candidate - assuming he had a ship worth commandeering.

He made his way over to the table and cleared his throat, which gained no response from the other man. Jack cleared his throat a little louder, hoping this time to get his attention. The man still looked at the coin he was flipping around his fingers. Jack coughed loudly, but still failed to get his attention. "Oi," Jack shouted.

This managed to make the other man look up and see Jack standing there, smiling at him. He gestured for Jack to come and sit with him at the table.

"How very kind of you, mate." Jack sat down in the seat across from him and immediately noticed the coin the man was flipping, it was what appeared to be pure gold. This little fact made Jack want to subdue him even more, seeing as he could possibly be a very rich man.

The Spanish man flipped the coin into the air and caught it as it came down, then looked at Jack. "Jack Sparrow."

Jack raised a finger at this statement, as he wasn't addressed correctly. "_Captain_ Jack Sparrow, if you please."

"Of course, Captain." The man stopped flipping his coin and placed his hands on the table, one over the other. "What brings you to my table, my friend?"

"Well," Jack looked at the rings on the other man's fingers, which were all gold, and placed his hands on the table in the same fashion. "I'm in need of a ship, as it were."

"I am saddened to say that my ship will not be accepting passengers at this time, Captain." He tapped his fingers on the table a little bit and chuckled. "Unless of course there was an offer placed before me."

"Then allow me to do some placing." Jack pulled out the map he had stolen from Barbossa and placed it on the table. "This," he said as he unrolled it for the Spanish fellow to look at. "will lead you places beyond your imagination, mate. I should know, I was saved from me imagination because of this."

The other man leaned in and moved the map piece around slightly. "It is movable." He spun it around until he noticed a certain location that caught his attention. His eyes narrowed, and he began pulling the map closer, as though to get a better look at it.

"It makes more places available to you, savvy? But," Jack quickly took the map back and rolled it up before placing it on the bench at his side, "it's only available if a ship is made available to meself and my Gibbs."

"What is a 'Gibbs'?"

Jack blinked a few times and looked for Mr. Gibbs to point him out, but couldn't find him anywhere. He shrugged and turned back to the conversation. "It's more of a who, if you will. But that's not important. What is important is: I need a ship, and you have a ship."

The Spanish fellow sat back in his seat and crossed his arms. "Well, this is all very interesting, Captain Jack." He made a slight gesture with his hand, his fingers twitching a bit before he brought it up to stroke his mustache. "But I'm afraid I will be declining."

"Very well, mate. I hope you won't miss your ship too much." Jack said, making his intent to steal it quite clear. He stood up and looked at the man a little closer. "By the way, your mustache...it's very funny." Before he could turn around, Jack was struck in the back of the head by a man with a bottle, and fell onto his face without another word. The man, who had been hidden in the shadows up until that point, looked at his captain and nodded.

The Spaniard got up, pocketed the coin, and walked away casually, as though nothing unusual at all had happened, followed by his burly companion. No one else in the establishment paid them any heed, not even Gibbs, who had finally gotten his hands on a large tankard of rum, and had begun regaling those around him with stories about sea turtles. The Spaniard and his henchman were joined by one other as they made their way out of the bar, and as they left, a slightly battered, rolled up piece of parchment was passed to the Spaniard.

Jack, meanwhile, lay on the ground, out cold from the hit. Two men stepped up next to him and stood over Jack.

"What d'you s'pose we do with him?" one of them said quietly, his voice quiet but rough.

The other man responded thoughtfully, "It's bad luck to wake a sleepin' man, you know..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Familiar Faces and A Perilous Place  
**

Slowly, Jack regained awareness of his surroundings – and a terrific headache. He could hear a couple of drunks singing a bawdy song nearby, and also the clank of tankards against tables, and raucous laughter and talk. He also became aware of two figures sitting uncomfortably close.

"He's wakin' up,_"_ one of the men said upon seeing Jack open his eyes a little.

_"_I can see that!_" _There was a thud, as if the rough voiced man had hit the other man in the chest. _"_I got eyes!_"_

_"_Was that a crack about me having one eye?_"_

He recognized their voices, and nearly groaned. He opened his eyes and glared up at the two greasy, smelly pirates sitting on either side of him. "What the bloody hell are you two scallywags doing here?" he demanded as he sat up. Pintel looked at Ragetti, who prepared to answer, but Jack didn't bother waiting. "Never mind. Where's my hat?" He found it lying nearby, and placed it firmly on his head. "Where's my map?" Drunk as he had been, he remembered putting it down…but it wasn't on the bench. Neither was it in his jacket.

"That's – that's why Barbossa sent us," Ragetti spoke up. "We was supposed to get the map back."

Jack looked at him, and then at Pintel, who nodded enthusiastically. "Well you can't have it," Jack said in an immature fashion. He got to his feet, staggered a bit, and looked around. The map was nowhere to be seen. "Oh bugger." He got out his compass and flipped it open. He wanted that map! It pointed out of the bar, in the direction he knew the docks to be. Someone had taken it. Perhaps it had been that Spanish fellow…or had he been a woman? Jack couldn't remember much after that blow to the head, and the fact that the pounding had not stopped made thinking difficult. Where was Gibbs? Jack spun around, and searched the crowd, squinting a bit against the headache.

Then his two unwelcome companions appeared again, uncomfortably close. "Where's the map?" Pintel demanded.

Jack backed up a little, not loving having them that close to him. _"_That in itself is a funny story._" _He looked around for a second, trying to find a way to get out of this situation. He saw two drunks nearby pushing each other. Being in Tortuga quite often, Jack knew the start of a bar fight when he saw one. He smiled and looked back at the two. _"_You see,_" _Jack walked back towards the two, and they started to walk backwards for whatever reason, most likely Jack's breath. _"_If I were to possess the map, I would most certainly not tell you two where it would be._"_

_"_Then we'll take it from ya._" _Ragetti began to reach for his sword, but luckily the two bar fighters had broken out into a fistfight and slammed into the table behind him, surprising Ragetti.

Jack took this opportunity to do what he did best: run away. He made one last look at his seat for the map and ran past Ragetti, towards the door. But he only made it so far before Pintel arrived in front of him, gun in hand. Jack looked at the gun, back up at Pintel, and spun around to run away again. Unfortunately for him, the fight had spread from the first two drunks to the entire bar. He slipped into the fray to escape Pintel, and began looking in various pockets of those he passed. In this manner Jack acquired several gold coins and an interesting pocket watch - but no map. The compass had pointed out of the bar, yes, but after the last time his desires had become confused, Jack was not about to leave without making sure. Anyway, he needed to find Gibbs.

As he peered into another pocket, the owner dispatched his current opponent and noticed him. "Oi! Get yer dirty paws offa me!" he growled, shoving at Jack.

"Sorry, mate. Couldn't resist. You've got lovely pockets, by the way." Jack grinned and ducked under the now very angry drunk's fist. Then another man drew a sword, nearly knocking Jack's hat off in the process. "Watch me hat!" he exclaimed, catching it before any damage was done. He lifted a foot and pushed the swordsman away, blade still swinging wildly as he collided with Ragetti, effectively pinning him to the ground. Jack spun around and continued to weave his way through the melee, ducking out of the way of flying bottles and fists alike.

Finally, he reached the other side, into a relatively calm spot. "Mr. Gibbs!" he bellowed. "Where be you?"

"Here, Cap'n!" Gibbs stumbled over to him, clutching a bottle of rum and sporting a rather nasty black eye. "Have ya got us a ship?"

Jack smiled, as if he was about to say yes, only to deliver bad news. "Not quite. I did run into some old friends, though." Not mentioning the loss of the map, Jack led the way out of the bar, only to find even more familiar faces waiting on the street. He came to a halt and made a slight grimace, but quickly put on a smile. "Greetings, gents," he said, looking around at the crew of the Black Pearl. "There's a nasty fight in there, if you're interested." Then he turned and attempted to slip down a side street.

One of the bigger crewmen stepped into his path, causing Jack to look up a little to see the man's slightly disfigured face. "Where's the map, Sparrow?" he asked, pointing his sword at Jack's chest.

"Map? What map?" Jack looked up at him blankly. "I haven't got a map. Gibbs, have you a map?"

"Er - no, Cap'n."

"See? Now if you'll excuse me, mate..." Jack took a step to the side, but the crew had surrounded them.

"Cap'n Barbossa wants the map, Jack," said one. "You'd best give it to us."

"Or what?" Jack demanded.

"Or we're to take _you_ to him."

"And how do you really expect to do that, hmm?" Jack spread his arms wide, with a grin to match. "You're forgetting one detail, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!" With that, he drew his sword and lunged. Gibbs followed his lead, and soon the street was as chaotic as the tavern. Jack slipped easily between his opponents, who found themselves swinging at each other more often than not, and when he could not escape he easily blocked blow after blow. It was a dangerous dance he knew well, better than most of these crewmen. Gibbs, even drunker than Jack usually was, however, was having a difficult time, and eventually fell out of the fight completely, knocked out by the hilt of a sword.

"Some bloody good you are!" Deciding that this was a good time to honor the Code, and that Gibbs would understand, Jack slipped from the fight and turned down an alley, planning to hightail it to the docks. However, Ragetti's sudden appearance - Jack could not help but wonder how the man did it - brought him up short. "'Ello, Jack." And for the second time that night, Jack slumped to the ground amid a puddle of rum and shards of glass.

Pintel joined Ragetti by the once again unconscious Jack. "Sorry Jack, captain's orders and such."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Bickerin' And Bargainin'**

Jack slowly woke up, feeling like he was slightly rocking back and forth a little. Upon opening his eyes, he noticed that his surrounding had completely changed. No longer was he in the dirty streets of Tortuga, but in what appeared to be a room upon a ship. Jack looked around, glancing at the various knick knacks and assorted valuables in the room, each one familiar to him. "The Pearl..." He slowly stood up, head pounding once again from being hit in the back of the head. He walked over to a table on one of the walls and pocketed some coins that were sitting there.

"Jack," a deep voice said from the doorway. "Takin' something for yer troubles, Jack?"

Jack recognized this voice instantly and spun around. "Hector." He stepped toward Barbossa and clapped his hands. "Thank you for bringing me ship back; now if you would be as kind as to move--" He attempted to walk past Barbossa, who didn't budge.

Barbossa smiled at him, but that quickly faded away. It was never an easy thing to distract Barbossa when he wanted something. "Where be the map, Jack?"

"I haven't a clue what it is you are talking about," Jack said innocently.

Barbossa just crossed his arms and looked at Jack intensely. "I know you have it Jack, and you ain't leavin' The Pearl until it's in me hands."

"I ain't leavin' this ship period, mate." Jack raised a finger. "It's mine, you know."

"It _was_ yours, Jack, but now," Barbossa stepped forward, causing Jack to walk backwards a little, "it be mine...again. So you best give me the map before me and the crew take it from you. And remember, we may not be as hospitable as we were back in Tortuga."

Jack ran into the back of a chair, which caught him off guard only slightly. He returned his attention to Barbossa and smiled. "What say you to an agreement? I get me ship back and you get your precious map, eh?" He held out his hand, hoping that Barbossa would shake it. Jack did not have the map, but if he were to get the Pearl back into his possesion, getting the map back would be easy enough. "Do we have an accord?"

Barbossa rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, refusing to take the deal. "Jack, you don't have to be alive for us to get the map from ye. We could just as easily pry it from yer cold, dead hands. So what will it be?" Barbossa stepped closer, causing Jack to nearly fall into the chair.

Jack sidestepped and got out of Barbossa's face. "While that is very interesting, here's how I see it..." He began to walk around the table there, getting some distance from Barbossa before telling him he didn't have the map. "if I get the Pearl back under my possession, I will let you be first mate and get...twenty percent of the plunder, eh?" Jack picked up a utensil on the table and looked at his reflection in it. "What say you to that?"

"Sixty percent," Barbossa replied automatically.

Jack dropped the utensil and pointed to Barbossa, ready to bargain. "Twenty five percent."

"Fifty."

"Thirty."

"Forty five!"

"Thirty one percent...and a shiny new eye for Pintel, eh?" Jack gestured a little to Barbossa as he approached him again. "Less complainin' and it'll make 'em happy. What say you to that?"

Barbossa thought for a second, wondering if it was all worth it. He could just as well strand Jack on an island again after he got a hold of the map. Mutiny was nothing new for him. He held out his hand. "We have an accord."

Jack walked closer to him and shook his hand. "Agreed!" He let go and headed towards the door. "Let me at that wheel, then."

"Forgetting somethin', Jack?" Barbossa kept his hand extended, ready to receive the map back from Jack.

After a bit of quick thinking, Jack spun around and smiled a little. "Now that is funny in itself...it can be said that I do not, as it were, possess such a map at this current time but do intend to get it to you expediently." He turned back around, hoping that that was good enough for Barbossa.

And of course, it wasn't. "You told me you'd give me the map, so where be it?!" Barbossa demanded.

Jack turned once again and approached Barbossa. "I never said I had it on me at this time, savvy? But I have every intention of getting it to you...in the future...later...eventually...sometime past the present." Jack turned around and exited the cabin and went out onto the deck.

Barbossa released some of his frustration in a low growl as he followed Jack. "You had better find me that map, Jack, or it'll be _you_ who'll be the next shot out of the canons!"

"And I will, mate. Just let me find a heading." He pulled out his compass and opened it up, hoping that it would point to an island somewhere close, to please Barbossa quickly. But instead it pointed to the wheel of the ship. Jack went up some steps, followed by Barbossa, and grabbed the wheel from Cotton. "That'll be all Mr. Cotton...and parrot." The compass pointed east, towards the wheel.

"Do ya know exactly what ya want, Jack?" Barbossa asked, certain that the compass was not leading them in the right direction.

"I wanted me ship a moment ago..." He looked at the compass. "I guess I still do, eh? Not a day goes by when this ship goes unwanted by me, I suppose." He offered Barbossa a grin.

Barbossa sighed in exasperation and began to walk down the steps. "Just find me that map!" he called over his shoulder.

"Wouldn't dream of anything else, mate!" Jack placed the compass back onto his belt. "Well, maybe some rum..."

Mr. Gibbs, emerging from a door on the ship, stumbled onto the deck of the Pearl and looked around bemusedly. "Bless the waters, it's the Pearl!"

"Aye," Jack shouted from the wheel of the ship. "And it's mine again! All mine."

"Nay!" Barbossa spun on his heel and jabbed a finger toward Jack. "It still be _mine_, as _ye _failed to hand the map over to me."

Jack slapped Barbossa's hand as he attempted to take the wheel. "I never said _when_ I'd give you the map, savvy? Therefore, the Pearl is mine."

Barbossa pulled out his gun and aimed it at Jack, severely tempted to pull the trigger and be done with it. "Move away or I'll blast ya to kingdom come."

Jack smiled at him and waved his finger a little. "And without me, how would you bet getting to wherever it be the map is, eh?"

"The compass, Jack," Barbossa pointed to Jack's compass, "is all I be needin'."

"I be needin' it more!"

"Um, Cap'ns!" Pintel, who stood at the side of the ship, pointed to something or someone floating out on the ocean. "I think you be needin' to take a look at this!" Jack and Barbossa moved to the side of the ship, compass and map temporarily forgotten. Jack saw the smoldering shipwreck ahead off the port bow. It would not be long now before the bulk of the hull sank below the surface. Even farther ahead, Jack thought he saw another ship leaving the scene. He pulled out his spyglass and trained it on the ship. It was not flying any colors, and he caught only a partial glimpse of the name - _Amanaza_. "Huh." He lowered the spyglass. "How incredibly uninformative."

Barbossa, on the other hand, was more interested in the piece of mast that had broken off and was floating alongside the Black Pearl. Draped on top of it was an old man; it was difficult to tell if he was alive or not, and normally Barbossa would not have cared either way - but the sunlight glinted off of something around the old man's neck. It was most definitely gold, and Barbossa _always_ cared about gold. "Well what are ya waitin' for?!" he roared. "Bring 'im up, ya useless dogs!" The crew scrambled into action, and within a few minutes they had the old man on deck.

"He's alive, Cap'n," Pintel announced.

"Good. Take 'im to my cabin." Barbossa turned to Jack. "And set a course to the nearest port."

"Why?"

"The last time I sent sailor down to the depths I ended up needin' him again. That necklace he be wearin' is pure gold, or I'm no pirate."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "I thought people are easier to search when they're dead," he drawled. Barbossa only scowled at him before following the crew and old sailor. Jack shrugged; it didn't really matter, so long as he had the Pearl. Barbossa could go chasing all the gold he wanted. Jack glanced at the shipwreck again, and then at his compass. Hmm. That was strange.

It was pointing in the same direction that other ship had taken.


End file.
